A Strange Morning………..

It was chilly Saturday morning in Mumbai,(its not breaking news. its a reality) and I opened my eyes and got shock of my life to see 4 news reporter of so called popular news channel standing just next to my bed … ignoring my totally distorted shocked face, all of them started in their own style at once “ Good Morning… Aapke ghar me aapka swagat hai…” “Welcome to news you can use”… etc.. all four of them competing with each other as if who can speak louder than other.. and I couldn’t managed to gather guts to say anything… my brain ..which hardly functions on weekends couldn’t put through the question “what’s happening here?”..

Suddenly all of them noticed me with my eyes wide open and hair standing straight up just like all four of them.. and at once all of them stopped talking infact shouting ..I thought its time for much needed commercial break.. but one of them asked “hey man.. How are you? Howz life? “…I was trying to recover from shock and my brain’s cpu was still trying to connect to i/o ..I mean my mouth… and the other person said “speak up..” his friend added “ Generally ..we never give time to other person to speak but since you are the host and we are the guest in this room.. we are giving you this opportunity” and the first person responded “ after all over aim is to make CM speak( “Common Man”..someone sent sms like that few days back) ”

“ aaaaa…..Laaife is good .. I mean…routine….infact monotonous ..” I managed to answer their question very honestly..and all of them got charged up and bit furious after hearing my reply…”how can it be monotonus ??” we try our best to make your life happening.. anyways.. today we are going to give you top 5 news of the hour..right here..right now.. only thought came to my mind at that time was ..”if you cant escape through the … torture.. stay back and enjoy!!!…”

“Lets start with news no 5” said one of them

And suddenly the forth person who was looking very horrible and frightening and wasn’t very active in the conversation started “ Son.. sani…(he paused and suddenly remembered the name )..sani.ya mirza.. Aus open match jeet gayi hai 6-1,6-2 ”

And the news no 4..he roared literally..

“3 farmers committed the suicide…. in Mumbai” …(“what?? I wondered farmers committed suicide in mumbai?i never saw neither farms nor farmers in Mumbai)….

well I just didn’t hear that correctly as other news reporter was giving news no3 about Mumbai and both things just got mixed or did he actually said that… now you cant blame common man I mean me for that..

and the news no 2 “ jandaar dauwala ne kaha hai saal 2008 bohot hi accha ho ga safe ali kapoor ke liye.. unke rahu ketu aur shani .. “mauja hi mauja” ga rahe hai “

and the no 1 news of the hour “a miracle… a cow gave birth to 5 calves at a time ”and the other interrupted “… no 6 calves at a time” the third person said “ 7 calves infact” the other guy said “let it be but we are the fastest to bring that news “ by the time 3rd person relaised that 7^th calf was of some other cow ..so he kept mum…

He said, we are going to discuss about this miracle and and for the discussion we will have top x model of bollywood ms Tuja in our studios…….

I wondered.. is that no 1 news of the hour? How common man is supposed to react on that? But the one of them replied “we see to it that you don’t get bored and so we generally don’t cover news from rural India or problems faced by common man of India”.. You know after all “jo bikta hai wahi dikhta hai I mean dikhata hai ”…

I was desperately started looking around for remote control.. And by the time I found that all of them disappeared.. I had a look at a button which we used for changing the channels and I realized that “small things (like this button) really makes difference in our life.. and why “Tom n Jerry” on cartoon channel and “African safari” on discovery are our favorites..